When tomorrow's dawn brushes dreams into memory
I'll still be bathing in the luminescence you leave in
your wake.
I don't think you understand the beauty you house, when
the outline of your frame gives birth to a pensive
smile and you open yourself to contingency.
How, even after all this time, I still harbor the feeling
of electricity when the circadian consistency
of your voice peels away my ego like paint.
How even after the war when my faith in myself
had been repackaged as a hand me down toy,
My faith in you still remained.
The only prayer of an atheist, always steadfast,
that you see it too, even in the handcrafted
blindness you wield as an eggshell shield.
Please god,
you have to see it...
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Author's Comments
Another one that came out quite quickly, pretty rare for me, I usually write a piece and then over the course of a few days tweak it to fit what I want out of it...the last couple I've submitted have been written all in one go over the course of 20 minutes or so. Image is Mary from [link] hope you like...
Comments
 Really lovely. I like your choice of words... I always like poetry that incorporates words that are... factual, like describing a mechanical process, but applied to emotions and emotional situations. Circadian and contingency are not words I know from context, so it's hard for me to find their meaning in this poem, but I appreciate their presence nonetheless.
-- Your journal sewn with pony hair and claws... Contingency as I'm using it simply means "chance", opening yourself to uncertainty and embracing it. Circadian...that's a bit less absolute, more of a means to color the verse than make an absolute statement...I've always liked the idea of using words to "paint a picture" so to speak. Using words that don't work together to foster a sense of confusion, not by presenting a confusing idea but "painting" the picture chaotically in a way. Thanks again for the fav, just going over your gallery now...impressive as hell.
-- Andrew Hussey "For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born." -Carlos Castaneda Oh, I see. That makes sense now, and thank you for elaborating.
 You're welcome... and thank you.  -- Your journal sewn with pony hair and claws...  nice... i like the imagery of the eggshell shield
i think in the first line the tomorrows should be tomorrow's -- I have nothing left to rebel against except myself. You're right...fixed
 thanks for the read and comment-- Andrew Hussey "For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born." -Carlos Castaneda  The first stanza drew me in with that gorgeous imagery! It is interesting how your focal point shifted between the 2nd and 4th stanzas.
-- ...be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger... I'm glad you liked it, I was iffy about the first stanza actually, I've used "luminescence" a lot in some of my stuff so I worry it would become redundant...I always liked how Castaneda described us as "luminous beings", painted a gorgeous image for me. Thank-you for the read/comment
-- Andrew Hussey "For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born." -Carlos Castaneda  nice
I hope I time to read more of what you are posting soon-- my other account on DA is *jadisofeternity I've had sort of a kick recently...I find sort of a universal for me is that intensity (at one point I would have said depression or pain and that's one type, but in general) tends to kick up my production significantly
thanks for the comment-- Andrew Hussey "For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born." -Carlos Castaneda |
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