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About Me Premium Member Pseudo-Intellectual Andrew Hussey28/Male/Canada Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
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Finally...or something?

Thu Jul 9, 2009, 6:22 AM
  • Mood: Hope
  • Drinking: Coffee
So my friend came by yesterday (I’m at work right now), talked to me about how things had ended with her current beau. I’ve never met him (being her..ex…sorta…current…er..whichever), but he seems nice enough, he’s been through quite a period though, won’t go into detail as it’s sort of personal, and even though this guy is sort of a “nemesis” so to speak in regards to the affections of this girl, I still hold no real malice for him. Guy apparently had a very, unsympathetic family we’ll say…abusive’s a subjective term, so we’ll leave it at that. However, he ended up effectively alienating himself, becoming by and large a misanthropist. He lived for years isolated from society with only his dog.

This is pretty classic for “La Luna” (in case you haven’t noticed yet, that’s a bit of a nickname), such isolation would lead, inevitably, to extreme behaviour…and it did, it was amazing how much of it I could see clearly. For example, one of the core reasons for the breakup was that, when not actively together, he simply didn’t acknowledge her, they never talked on the phone, online, when not actively with each other they were distant. That would fit perfectly for someone who’s been in that isolationist mindset for a long period, to them, such absence would simply seem normal.

He’s also extremely anxious, to the point where he has a serious anxiety disorder. During Luna’s graduation he wound up having a panic attack and leaving. And I understand the mindset, that’s understandable…but its behaviour, this isn’t premature ejaculation we’re talking about here. The panic attack fills it’s role, it’s an explanation for such behaviour…it tells me “this is why this man did this to this girl”…it does NOT however excuse his behaviour, a grad/prom is among the most important things a person, girls in particular, can ever experience in their university life (or high school life for that matter), I’d have to be vomiting u copious amounts of pus and blood before I’d even CONSIDER bailing on a girl for that, I’d need to be dying.

Anyway, I don’t want to go off on this guy, he’s done things I disagree with, but I can understand why, the causes for his behaviours…I think that’s a large part of why Luna was so attracted to him, she tends to seek uniqueness…and such isolation, to BE that emotionally distraught is part and parcel with eccentric, odd behaviour…it automatically puts a person on the edge of a cliff so to speak…makes it so each movement they make either has to be an extreme means to protect themselves from falling, or a near slip. It makes all action, all behavour VITAL…it forces it to burn away unnecessary, contemplative aspects of the self and to live in a sort of fire. Beautiful, but bright, and short lived…and horrifically dangerous.

So I’m sort of in limbo, this girl wants to step back from things for a bit, makes sense…and fuck it, I’ve bee waiting long enough it’s not like this will break me. She actually did tell me she would be willing, if we decide to work towards a relationship again, to perhaps see someone about basic coping strategies (would that be couples counseling I guess? sounds seedy…lol) but honestly, I couldn’t have been happier…that simple statement of, “I’m willing to put this work in”, implies more to me than I think she recognized…it told me that, not only am I important to her, but she, HER is willing to put very real, measured, definite work into making a relationship work with me. And work is an absolute necessity…without it a relationship has failed before it began. So I’m sort of in an odd mood...I’m happy in terms of her being free from these past entanglements…I feel bad about this guy of course, but the truth of the matter is…he’s not my responsibility…IF (big if) he gets serious counseling, from a full out psychologist I truly wish him the best (well, I wish him the best regardless, but without treatment the simple truth is he’ll never be better)…so yeah, I’m in this conflicted area….I’m ecstatic, happy…but I feel bad about being happy…does that make me screwed up? Either way, hope all’s well with all of you…just needed to blow this off somewhere :)

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Brantford ON, Canada
  • Interests: Philosophy, Art, Music, Martial Arts, Joy, connection
  • Favourite movie: Requiem for a Dream, Serial Experiments: Lain, Ghost in the Shell, Happiness, Death Note, Oldboy
  • Favourite band or musician: Tool, Mr Bungle, The Tea Party, Dead Can Dance, Jeff Buckley, Tom Waits, Dream Theatre, Led Zeppelin
  • Favourite genre of music: Any really, I'm not into pop at all, but anything I think defines (or redefines) it's genr
  • Favourite artist: Either Hieronymous Bosch or Giovanni Piranesi
  • Favourite poet or writer: Edgar Allen Poe, Henry Rollins, Friedrich Nietzsche, Charles Baudelaire, Christopher Dewdney
  • Favourite style of art: Poetry, and Music
  • Operating System: Windows Vista
  • MP3 player of choice: Media Player usually
  • Favourite game: Probably Neverwinter Nights, I've been consistently playing it since it's release :)
  • Favourite gaming platform: PC
  • Favourite cartoon character: Lain or L from Death Note
  • Personal Quote: We are all luminous beings eclipsed by our humanity
  • Tools of the Trade: My brain...sometimes a pen or computer helps too.

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Comments


you should make circadian home your poetic feature...it really is something else. :hug:
Done... :)

--
Andrew Hussey

"For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born."

-Carlos Castaneda
Hi,

Many thanks for your :+fav: on The Philosopher And Language. [link]

Very much appreciated.

--
There's always a better poem just out of reach.

Words create situations

The roots of the future run deep
Thank you for the fave. :D

--
"This is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper."

"I thought it would be nice to lie down and close my eyes. It never occurred to me that I am already asleep."
Thanks so much for the watch. I'll watch back. I see that you are a Henry Rollins fan. Cool!

--
Free the West Memphis Three!
Solipsist is like th bible :) love it... thank-you for the watch...

--
Andrew Hussey

"For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born."

-Carlos Castaneda
thanks for the :+fav: on hills as people


xo!

--
I am a poetry admin for *DailyLitDeviations.

interested in collaborating?
writer, photographer, painter, whatever(er) -
I'll mix with words with anything you've got.
:bulletred: currently on collab hiatus
No problem :) great work...

--
Andrew Hussey

"For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born."

-Carlos Castaneda

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